Fargin' bored...

Ugh...just a blah day. I haven't been out of the house since Thursday for a gyno appt...like you all really needed to know that. I don't care. That's life. We all have to do it, us womens. Anyway, the short trip to Sugar Grove and back just didn't cut it for me. I was going to go grocery shopping last night, but the round of freezing rain put a halt to that. Then, I was going to try today...again, thanks, freezing rain...

Now I can't do anything with my blog (review comments, change layout) except post, apparently, so that's what I'm doing. I'm way bored.

I need some new clothes. I've been wearing the same s@#t for two years! So where do I go? My options are Wal-Mart or Fashion Bug. Yay. I couldn't be more thrilled. Wal-Mart has a pretty sad selection. I always see the normal size ladies department has pretty sundresses and flowery tank tops, cute cut offs, strappy sandals...things like that. What do us bigger women get? "Oooo, Doris - check out that moo moo! That's a nice daisy pattern, isn't it? Ooo, and look at that one with the geometric shapes! This one has horizontal stripes - I hear they're in this season! Oh, and look! They even have color coordinated orthopedic sneakers! Look over there - they're running a special on knee-highs!"

And what's up with Fashion Bug, anyway? There are two doors - one up front for the juniors/sizes 0-14. Sizes 16+: there's big letters on the right side of the building that say: "Fashion Bug PLUS" with an arrow pointing around the corner to the back of the building for that door, which I'm assuming is the service entrance. Thanks for keeping it discreet, FB. Like I can fake it anyway. Why do they have to segregate us? It's like a racist thing or something. I guess they don't want the smaller chics mingling in with us and going, "Ewww! What is she doing here??"

And bras - forget it. That's so embarrassing when you find your size and realize it might be confused with a large purse. And they ususally come in two colors - white or ivory. Then the clothes racks are so close together. You have to turn sideways and sashay through everything. Meanwhile, you're knocking clothes off the racks and bumping into things when you bend over to clean up your mess. Then the little 90-lb. cashier comes running over and goes, "Do you, like, need help or something?" So I stand up and end up bumping her back a few feet; she lands on her ass and I have to pick her up, poor thing. Now I have to apologize, "I'm so sorry, I didn't even see you. No, really, here - I'm stronger - I'll pick the rack up. Yes, and I'll hang all the clothes back up on it, too. Oh, you have a customer at your register. And will you tell that girl that thing is not a hangbag? What's the cup size on it? If it's a triple G, hang on to it for me!"

*sigh* I hate being fat. Everyone's always like, "No, you are NOT fat! Don't say that." Ok, I'm not. I just have big boobs, big arms, big legs, and a belly. But my neck is in shape, you know...so that's a good thing...