LIFE (short word, short altogether)

Today is actually warm enough for me to take the kids outside for a walk. I can't believe it - I am actually going to set foot outside other than getting in and out of the car!! Woo hoo!! Hey, simple pleasures, folks - simple pleasures. Life is full of them.

Yesterday, Charlie came home crabby. On Tuesday, he was approached by the bosses and asked what it would take, money-wise, to make him happy where he's at. To put it in plain English, they were offering a raise and asking him what he wanted. He came up with some figures that night, and when he went in yesterday, they did a 180 on him and basically told him to forget it - there'd be enough overtime coming to satisfy his needs. So he came home, depressed and feeling worthless, and it immediately affected me. I don't like to see him like that, nor does he deserve to be treated that way! Mostly, there's nothing I can do except offer advice; sometimes I know it's easier for me to tell him something than to actually endure the situation in his shoes. I told him that he's not stuck there unless he lets himself. I told him to take a few days off and look around - get his name out there, see who is hiring and what they have to offer. He half-heartedly mumbled "Thanks," and I felt brushed off. Then we were both pouty - him about work and me about feeling unappreciated. During dinner, neither of us spoke a word. Gabby did most of the babbling until finally, Charlie spoke up and said, "It really stinks that both of us are in a bad mood at the same time. We can't even rely on each other to cheer us up."

That stuck in my head like glue. It repeats over and over. He's right. What good is a relationship, any relationship at all, if you can't rely on each other for support, love, understanding, and acceptance? Sometimes we get so caught up in our own thoughts and emotions, that we can't be bothered with things, good or bad, that are happening to those around us. Instead of taking a step back and looking at how we can help each other, we put ourselves first and to hell with what the other person is feeling. When we could be helping each other out and talking through our problems, we're pushing each other to the side for a time and place that is more convenient for us. And you know, that's not right.

Life is too short for pettiness, grudges, and selfishness. I had really no right to be in a bad mood yesterday. Charlie didn't mean to make me feel unappreciated; he was just working through his own dilemma. How could I expect him to be as chipper as a blue bird and automatically put on a happy face? And how could I justify my blue mood? As his wife and friend, I should have brushed those bad feelings aside and focused on Charlie. Maybe I could have done more to make him feel better about himself. Maybe I could have coaxed more communication out of him and given him ideas on what he could do to remedy the situation. But I didn't, and for that, I feel awful. I apologized profusely last night and today, and while Charlie has forgiven and forgotten, I can't say the same of myself. I do not want to be like that again.

So the next time you're in a foul mood and someone approaches you, stop and think: "Am I taking my emotions out on this person, or am I asking for them to just listen to me?" How you vent your feelings is just as important as venting! And it may sound cliche, but whenever I catch myself working up to a crabby, I find myself asking this lately: WWJD?