My name is Jenifer, and I'm a chocoholic.
Good granny! Today is terrible for me - I am so ravenously hungry for chocolate, it is almost scary! My Cadbury egg is gone, and I don't dare open that box with the chocolate cross in it because I'll probably eat the whole thing (it's big, too). I made trail mix last night with peanuts, roasted almonds, cheerios and semi-sweet chocolate chips, so that's sitting on the counter taunting me every time I walk by. I had to put chocolate syrup in my coffee at lunch, then I went back for chocolate milk with a dollop of chocolate ice cream - a mock milkshake. Whew! I wish this desk was made out of chocolate - I'd tear it up like a pride of lions on an antelope! Oooo...I've gotta think of something else! (Must be that time again...)
Gabriella gave me a heck of a time this afternoon. I try to avoid cleaning out her nose at all costs...because it is literally hell. But I'd let the boogie situation go on long enough. After her lunch, I took her to her room to change her diaper. As I was finishing up, I noticed that her nose had some company. It was bad. They were poking out of her nose, waving at me, chatting with each other, hanging window treatments, bungee jumping - it was a three ring circus and I couldn't take it anymore. I tried wiping them away with a clean wipee, but to no avail. So I dug out the boogie bulb and some Q-tips - this sent Gabby into a full out frenzied conniption. She knew what was coming. The screaming started. I had to hold her down and try to dig the little monsters out, which is not an easy thing to do with a 24-lb. toddler kicking, pushing, flipping, screaming, and crying at you. You would have thought I was in there beating her with a wooden spoon. It was horrible! I ran over and closed her door so that she wouldn't wake Aiden from his nap, and then tried to finish the job. Somehow, I managed to get both her arms in my left hand while I held her torso and legs down with my right elbow, steadied her head with my left elbow, and ambushed the remaining boogie with my right hand. (At this point, I'm still not sure where the first one went.) Meanwhile, she's turning beat red from screaming and is on the verge of hyperventilating. Thankfully, I got the job done. I sat her up and tried to calm her down. Instead, she stood up and stomped her feet, which bent the particle board on the changing table (the piece that she lays on), and sent that crashing down after I whisked her off of it. Holy crazy toddler, Batman!!!
Needless to say, nobody got hurt and Gabby passed out as soon as I laid her down for her nap. All I could think of to say to her was, "Was that really necessary?" Now I feel like a child abuser, and I'm sure she pretty much hates me right now. I guess we'll see when she wakes up from her nap. And through all of that, Aiden was still sound asleep...*sigh*...
Motherhood...a free pass to the insane asylum.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
AHHHH... your post brings back such fond memories!!! You're right, tho' - you do feel like a child abuser because of all the screaming, kicking, howling & thrashing about the kids do. When, in fact, all you're trying to do is ease things for the poor baby. You are trying to get rid of something horrible, aka the "boogie", and the child reacts like you are some sort of mad person. If they would just CALM DOWN for a second, you could clear their little noses of the boogie-monster. But NO.....that would be too easy.
Well, that certainly made me laugh. And the chocolate part....well, I never had that happen. I was more....open the frig & pour everything into my mouth!!!!! Hmmmm that could explain a LOT!!
LOVE YOU
Definitely get that need for a chocolate fix myself...not so much fun now that I'm diabetic, though the sugar free stuff isn't that bad and I'm getting used to it!
Post a Comment